V-Cards, a Horse Stall, and Mousclestache

I am a peddler.  A common street vendor promising you all the happiness of life, bottled up in a simple recipe.  Upfront about the hefty price compared to that oh so generic Globo gym and its pantheon of machines.  But wowing you with the wonderous rewards that make the cost seem like the steal of a lifetime.  It is clear to most that what I peddle is CrossFit.  But what makes me a great peddler is that I have an entire box of products which you must try that are all interrelated and you must take part in every deal to truly reap the rewards that you never knew you were living in such poor deprivation of before.

Today's deal is....CrossFit Competition V-Cards.  For the low low price of a weekend in Ohatchee, AL (re: middle of nowhere) you too can partake in the thrill of a CrossFit Competition with over 200 participants, great CrossFit camaraderie, plenty of CrossFit gear to purchase, the blood sweat and tears of at least 3 WODs, and the priceless accomplishment that is surviving your first CrossFit competition to join the even higher ranks of CrossFit insanity.  Or at least that's how I peddled the First Annual Brute Fitness Barnyard Throwdown Team Competition to my girl Dayna.  Back in December I convinced my fellow Crossfitter of only 3 months that she was competition ready.  That it was a team competition.  That her husband and I would make great teammates and it would be the most fun anyone every had losing their Competition v-card.  Then January 14 came quickly approaching and with it...trouble.

Maybe we'll just be a twosome..

First, Twinkie had to back out for work purposes.  Uh-oh.  We needed a third.  I harassed everyone.  I called friends in Mississippi, Lower Alabama, South Carolina, Pensacola (ok Lexy - that wasn't a real request, but I hadn't harassed you in awhile), Georgia, Tennessee....I bothered everyone of my fellow coaches at CrossFit Music City.  I even tried to bribe my own coach, Dickey Blaze, by promising that I'd be the best, most obedient, most perfectest athlete ever if he'd come and compete with us.  I used the lure of sparkly shiny things.  I promised fun, excitement, ADVENTURE!  I even tried guilt - it was D's first competition AND HER BIRTHDAY!  Who could say no to that?  Apparently, a lot of people. But fortunately, two nights before the competition, my wonderful Dee Grimes and Cole Leighton came through and promised that they would have someone for me.  My very own third.  Yay!

Officially Team MisFits

Spider Monkey sadly without Kill Cliff in the picture

Where's Kathleen? - Crystal and I missing a very important element to our amazingness

Then, there was the issue of the WODs.  Dee let me know what these were the week before the competition (awesome to have connections...you get to stress out a whole 36 hrs earlier than everyone else).  Which I excitedly shared with my Team TBD (as in Dee had us register as team To Be Determined until we knew who our 3rd would be).  Well Dayna wasn't exactly thrilled.  Thrilled there would not be pullups, but not so thrilled about 100 135# deadlifts.  I assured her that we would be fine....She only had to pull the weight up once and even though her max was 115#, people PR at events all the time.  Me and whoever the 3rd would be could handle the over 99 deadlifts.  But the loss of Twinkie and the general nerves of deadlifts sunk in, and so I promised her that come competition time, if we weren't feeling it, scaled we would go.

And then...I got the flu.  And not the sniffle sniffle kitten sneeze type flu.  The miss work, don't train, head in a vice grip flu.  But I'd be damned if I was going to pull out early.  You can't do that to a first-timer.  It's wrong.  So I Nyquilled it up, put on my game face, and got my tush to Ohatchee to meet up with Dayna and our unknown third.  Not to mention, I had a Spider Monkey and my buddy Crystal that I couldn't miss seeing (and stocking up on Kill Cliff - Spider Monkey's a peddler too).  Plus who could pass up on this motivation...

Day of Competition:

I meet up with some CrossFitters from CrossFit Huntsville who let me know that our third, Jimmy, is coming with K Lowe and Team Mousclestache...uh-oh.  So they'll be an hour late.  Awesome.  Talk to Jonah, and he assures me that we'll be fine, we'll find another third, or heck, Dayna and I will be the bad ass team of 2 girls raging against the machine!  Luckily for once KLowe was not an hr late as predicted, and got there a couple of heats before ours.

CrossFit Huntsville V-Card Holder, Tracy, showing Mousclestache love

WOD 1 - 75 wall balls, mile trail run.  AWESOME.  And who took first?  That'd be Team Misfits (formerly known as Team TBD) - as in I stole the marker and changed the our name....but not our time.  I promise.  Way to put our team at ease.  Especially me, since I find out that the fun and awesomeness of the first-time for 2 people is upon my shoulders.  After WOD 1, when we're already deep in the competition, Jimmy taps me on the shoulder and whispers softly, this is my first time too.

WOD 2 - Move 9 logs from the bottom of a hill to the top and back down.  No you do not get to roll the logs.  And while you're at it, do 75 burpees.  Team Misfits wanting to maintain our first place position (what can I say - sometimes you don't want to change positions) tried to strattegize this.  Jimmy and I figured we could load 3 logs on the two of us, and Dayna could get one up the hill.  Minimize the trips.  But as all well laid plans go this failed - we failed to account for the fact that I have short arms and could not steadily hold 3 logs.  Fail.  Lose seconds throwing out the strategy and having to add trips getting a total of 3 logs up at a time instead of 4.  But even with that, we finished this WOD in 5th, setting us securely in 2nd going into WOD 3.  I guess a change in position isn't the end of the world.

Yay for the top of the hill

Pink shorts make Spider Monkeys strong

WOD 3 - Tug-of-war.  Now we did not have the most exciting of Tug-of-wars.  Dayna and I combined maybe weight 250 and Jimmy isn't exctly a heavy weight.  And of course we went against a team of 2 guys and a girl.  Awesome.  We pulled and we tried and well...out round one.  But this wod should not be downplayed.  There were plenty of interesting matches.  And I'm happy to say that Scaled was won by Team Harem from CrossFit Innovate consisting of 2 girls and a guy (that's right!  Don't underestimate the 2 women teams). On top of that my favorite Brute, Brandi Vance Warren (one of my original CrossFit friends from CrossFit Northridge circa 2008 - aka 3 lifetimes ago), kicked butt and tried to break her knee in the process.  Her doctor husband didn't say, "No hunny. Your competitive spirit will you prevent you from holding back at a competition and you may hurt that bum knee even worse.  You should probably sit this one out."  Hell no he didn't.  He's a peddler too!  But that is not why this event was epic.  This is not why there will be a movie.  No it is because...

Lo and behold, THE tug-of-war to end all tug-of-wars happened at this very competition.  A Tug-of-War that will go down in history.  The scars of which will live on forever emblazoned on the forearms of the competitors and the poor fragile minds of the children watching.  A cherished memory dearer to our hearts than Robots v. Wrestlers.  Mousclestache v. Iron Tribe!  K Lowe, Cole, and Emily on one side proudly making up Mouslestache going head to head against Iron Tribe's Jessica, Zach and some other really big guy.  Best of 3.  Try 1 we knew this was going to be one hell of a match up.  The rope didn't budge.  Both teams pulling.  Cole anchored in and K Lowe straddling the rope (sorry if he wanted more kids), Emily in between them.  Jessica digging in her heals.  Everyone screaming at the top of their lungs.  Hell I don't even know who won the first pull or the second.  But the 3rd....oh that 3rd tug.  To this day, we don't know if that match should have been called a draw or not.  It was ugly.  Both teams laying on the ground, exhausted and still finding strength somewhere (clearly Spider Monkey had given both teams Kill Cliff).  The crowd lept into a roar thinking Mousclestache had won it.  Someone had called it. BUT NO!  the tape didn't actually cross the line, it simply kissed it.  Iron Tribe quickly to their feet to pull again.  The war waged on and in a final effort Iron Tribe pulled it off.  K Lowe and Cole fully bloodied on their arms.  And both teams done.

Team Mousclestache All Set to Pull

Team Iron Tribe

Are we Done?

Nope....don't give up!

Oh but wait...top 5 teams for scaled and top 10 for rx had 2 more wods to go....WTF!  You're not done yet?  I finished already!  Or at least that's what was all over K Lowe's face.  As they announced the top 5, and Team MisFits were in 4th, Dayna and I like typical women were excited to go again.  We weren't just going to roll over and go to sleep.  This is FUN!  Which of my other friends would be joining in - Team Harem from Innovate, Mousclestache, Iron Tribe, Dr. & The Degenerates (Brandi's team), Team Goose also from Innovate, and the Enforcers (Crystal's team).  After that tug-of-war wod though, Jonah, our fantabulous organizer and awesome friend from Brute Fitness, called over all the team captains and said listen, we're all here for the beer anyway, and we're running late, and wod 5 is clearly more fun than wod 4, so how about we skip that one and get to the good stuff.

Finally met Spider Monkey's better-half - A Very Bad Ass Karen

I was not exactly in a position to argue with such sound logic....even though WOD 4 was right up my team's ally - hello more running and squats!  But on to WOD 5!

Some awesome Brutes thinking they're day is over...

WOD 5 - in a horse's stall (i do not believe the horses received rent for this lease) perform 100 KB swings, 100 deadlifts, and a 2000 m row as a team.  Climb out of the stall, jump over a fence and sprint to the finish line.  Why did I think this would be easy peasy?  Because I'm a crazy person.  Because this is real CrossFit fun.  Because this will make it not only a great first experience, but make it so that there's no way you could wait long before doing this tom foolery again.  

End of the day, Team MisFits ended up in 4th.  Not bad for 2 no longer V-Card holders and me.  Brute Fitness put on a great event and I'm glad that Dee had sold it to me.  It will definitely be going into the marketing material for the next time I'm selling someone on the amazingness that is CrossFit Comeptition.

So proud of my no longer a Competition V-Card holder

Team MisFits - Post WOD "5"

Watch out CrossFit Music City - I believe I have some V-Cards to collect, Shaunna ;)

Row, Row, Row Your Boat....For 26.2

The timing was perfect.  I had just vowed to abandon my jump rope for a month after the 5000 Double Under Challenge.  I had decided I was going to work on pullups now between my lifting sets during O-Class.  And then it popped up on my Facebook messages like a bright light coming out of the Internet-Cloud heavens…”Behold…your new CrossFit Challenge.  Go forth and conquer.” To which I aptly replied “Your will be done."

At least that’s what Shaunna would have you believe.  Instead it was another challenge posted by Performance as Rx (the dirty bastards who drove Bryn and I into torn up shins and abandoned ropes).  Simple: Row a marathon.  Say what?  Yes, row a marathon.  You run marathons.  You love half-marathons.  Make the rower your friend and simply row 26.2.  Here, we’ll make it easier for you.  Do it with a team of 4.  It’s only 41,920 meters.  A simple 10,480 m each.  Rich did it.  Him and 2 other CrossFit badasses did it in 2 ½ hours.  So can you. 

And so, with resolve matched only by Barney Stinson’s, “Challenge Accepted!”  Last Thursday, Bryn and myself resolved to row a marathon.  Shaunna, sadly was a no go due to an unfortunate car wreck (she’s fine…car…not so much).  Sad face.  Heather had agreed to join us when she got off of work at 7.  It was 5:45pm and Bryn and I knew we needed to get started if we didn’t want to be there all night.  Row an hour Just the Two of Us?  As motivating as Will Smith’s song is, I wasn’t jiggy with it so we decided to recruit a third victim.  Elizabeth.  Poor Elizabeth.  Poor girl made the dire mistake upon our approach of saying “I hate rowing!”  To which Bryn blessedly replied “Find your weaknesses.  Make friends with them, then beat them to death.”  I love it when he quotes my future ex-husband.  Elizabeth agreed to row with us, but only until Heather appeared.  Having to borrow a pair of my shoes (luckily, I always seem to have a whole CrossFit shoe store in my gym bag) as she was only at the gym because she was locked out of her apartment, Elizabeth began the 26.2 journey with Bryn and myself at 6:30 pm.

We agreed to approach the challenge with smiles on our faces, convinced that the challenge would best be undertaken at a leisurely pace.  While Rich and his team aimed for times that the CrossFit gods would nod approvingly to, fully mortal we aimed at simply finishing – preferably before the next sunrise.  At 6,000 m Heather appeared to join us, and Elizabeth (poor girl) knew she was damned well hooked and would not leave until the challenge was completed.  

Merrily, we rowed along, laughing, joking, wondering where Dickey Blaze was with our pizza dinner (this would never appear).  There were a group of boys using the batting cages next to us and while I’m sure a few softballs were meant for our heads as a little game for them, they clearly enjoyed a chuckle or two witnessing our insanity.  At one point, we had the brilliant idea of working on pullups while the other rowed.  Yes, pullups.  Because it is not enough to use your grip for 26.2 of rowing.  You must try to tear your hands – everyone knows no challenge is complete without blood.

Almost 3 hours later, our row was nearly complete.  With slightly over 1500m to go, we pondered, how should we end this sojourn of ours?  Recalling that Rich & Co. rowed the 26.2 in 2 ½ there was also the little image of that 1;30 something as their finishing ave. time/500m.  Now there’s something we can aim for!  Little ol’ chickadees were not going to pull sub-1:40 at the end of a marathon…but we had a secret weapon.  Very few people know that Superman is a coach at our gym.  We have none other than….the very obsessed with Smallville, Bryn Herrin!  Bryn would be the last rower!  He could pull us to victory!  And at 3:09:46 with a final pull of 1:41/500m victory was ours!  Challenge complete!

P.S. – Performance As Rx you can take your 2012 Thrusters by January 31^st and…..  Let’s just say I will not be participating in a 3^rd challenge at the moment.

The Year of the CrossFit Junkie

Yes, I’m a bandwagon riding year in review kind of girl..  1) It helps us appreciate it where we’ve come from and the hard work we put into getting where we are.  2) I think reflection helps us prepare better for what’s ahead. 3) I just wanted to post more pictures on here.

Because this is a reflection of my CrossFit year, I’m throwing out the typical Jan-Dec calendar (who cares what about months Romans came up with forever ago anyway).  This year was really about going from habitual CrossFit social hour to full-blown CrossFit junkie.

We opened CrossFit Tuscaloosa officially on Dec. 1, 2010.  It was definitely going to be an interesting adventure, particularly for Drew and Brittany.

I left to go to Idaho for the holidays after only a week and a half, so it wasn’t until January when I got back that I really had the opportunity to get into our new home in the Tuscaloosa Downtown YMCA.  Immediately, I knew Drew was going to put us to work.

But by February, we were in the swing of things and at least had a fun group to suffer through WODs with.   I was a social CrossFitter after all, so it better be fun!

Sarabeth and I headed to Garage Games and tried to stay warm.  This was like being introduced to Bacardi Ice when you’re in high school.  No one thinks you’re going to go hard core.  You’re just a groupie, dressed cute in boots and leggings, clearly just there to cheer people on.  But someone had to get SB through that awful trail run in the wet cold.  I had no idea that my future CrossFit home, CrossFit Music City, was there competing as well, or that Rebecca was hating that trail run just as much as SB.

The girls at CFT that I had conned into running New Orleans for my 26^th birthday managed to have fun as well.  It was far more a 4-day eating holiday with this little run at the end of the weekend. 

The supportive spouses gave us that extra little advice we needed to get through the race.  Justin Williams channeled Rich Froning – I think the rest of us just focused on feeding our faces.

In March, still amazingly injury free, I placed overall for the first time in a race.  What’s more amazing is the fact that I did it at altitude in Idaho – and that my mother stole my medal.

CrossFit had prepared me well for the post-race photo.

March also brought on the Open.  While I was disappointed to not have a Sectionals competition to go watch and see CFT face off against those in the area, a lot of CFT showed up each week to see Drew, Sarabeth, Max, and Chuck tackle the Open WODs.

Like for any WOD, Maxwell was calm about each of the events.

Maybe even excessively happy.

The Open was definitely a taste of a bit of that CrossFit high – did you see how happy Maxi looked?

For the first time, I was considering actually “training” instead of just being a recreational wodder.  Afterall, I was getting stronger….

And I joined Greg for Flying Lessons (aka – finally learning how to do double unders).

We participated in CrossFit Innovate’s March of Dimes Throwdown Week 3 of the Open, where (shocker) Sarabeth took first for the women and Drew took first for the men.

Not to be left out of the fun, there was a second WOD for those of us not badass enough (yet) to compete in.

Even Camille, one of my bffs from Law School who I had roped into CrossFit a few months earlier, enjoyed the fun of competition.

Summer lead us to Regionals, which Sarabeth and Drew had qualified for.  Brittany, Carla, Cary, and myself couldn’t miss out on supporting them – though Carla almost did.  You’ve never met anyone so terrified of flying, nor has God heard so many prayers in the 30 sec. period that makes up take off and landing.

Plus who could pass up a trip to Jacksonville to be surrounded by hot CrossFit people?

Regionals was an opportunity to meet so many people in CrossFit that I knew I’d turn into a competition junkie.  Starting to resemble a CrossFit addict, I got my fix whenever I could, including getting my Level 1 Cert at CrossFit Atlanta.  But like progressing from “oh I’ll just take a cranberry juice with a splash of vodka” to “Scotch neat, and you really think I’d take anything other than single-malt?”, I showed the true levels of my addiction by going to the CrossFit Games as my post-bar exam trip.  Others go to the beach or backpack through Europe.  No, I do this….

Watch the ladies of CrossFit beat most all of the men in the L-Sit….

Meet Iceland Annie….

Hang out with Sparkle & Shine…

Support future ex-husband, Chris Spealler, while he works…

Study Muscle-Ups from the pros

Watch the blossoming bromance of Rich & Schraeder…

and spend time with my CrossFit Addiction Support Group.

But like any true addict knows, that you can’t just have that big high and be good.  Oh no, you must feed it constantly….

So I spent the rest of the summer being CrossFit Mom to Sarabeth, going from Garage Games Event to Garage Games Event.  How else are you going to meet characters like…

Justin “the Spider Monkey, Kill Cliff Whore” Key

Or

Fitness Supermodel, Keisha Brazell

and

SouthEast badass Leah Polaski.

And of course it doesn’t hurt that CrossFitters look like this.  ;)

But by the time Faction was done, I needed to get into this competition business myself.  I’m a smart girl, and since I had spent the summer recovering from a torn rotator cuff (thank God no surgery), I eased into it with some charitable Throwdowns, like CrossFit 27:17’s FGB 6.

Yes the big name events are awesome.  And the competitors always leave me in awe.  But these smaller throwdowns touch my heart in a way that the big stage doesn’t.   At FGB6, I saw this woman.

She’s Laura Gardener.  I had met her a year ago at FGB5 – just a couple of weeks after she had started CrossFit.  I had been her judge for that event, and couldn’t help but hug her after the WOD was over, seeing her fight for every rep and taking it one station at a time.  A year later, and she’s clearly gotten stronger and LOVES CrossFit.  THIS is why I coach and THIS is why I love CrossFit.

So with my heart full of some serious CrossFit love, by October I was itching to

get a hit of that competition buzz. I, along with Sarabeth and my good friend, Chris Grothe traveled down to middle-of-nowhere Georgia for the South Georgia Throwdown.

No Garage Games Event would be complete without…

Key’s shameless Kill Cliff product pushing,

 Clapping pushups in public,

 Brian’s Game face,
 

More shameless product placement (Chris didn’t get the memo about facing the Kill Cliff can toward the camera…don’t worry Justin – I’m sure he’ll do better next time).

And 35# PRs.

Of course the best thing about being a CrossFit junkie, is spreading the addiction.  So now that I was addicted to competition, I had to get others addicted as well.  But I had just learned that I was moving to Nashville.  And all nearby Garage Games events were over.  So riddle me this Batman – how do I push the product?

Answer:  Local competitions.

Having passed on the addiction, I sadly left Tuscaloosa and my CFT family…

And made a new home at CrossFit Music City in Nashville

Can’t wait to see what next year brings!  Until then...I'll just keep feeding the addiction.